Inconvenienced
by Silver Supa
Summary: The age old story of falling for the popular girl who's too good for you is too cliche for her tastes. It wouldn't work out anyways. And really, what could Diana possibly offer to a girl like Akko? (Role Reversal, but somehow, Not an AU)
1. Chapter 1

Diana, compared to many of her peers in her age group, was remarkably controlled and dignified. She exuded an air of self-confidence and composure, and carried herself in a professional way beyond her years.  
It all fell apart during an innocent conversation with Professor Ursula.

The professor had invited her for tea in her office, asking if Diana simply wished to have a conversation. Given everything that had happened between the two of them, along with several other students at Luna Nova, she graciously accepted the opportunity under the belief that a stress-free conversation would help them both take their minds off things.

Sitting in the professor's admittedly lovely office in the tower, they had simple small talk over their tea, exchanging quick pleasantries and daily events. The discussion inevitably ended up drifting to the recent events involving the crisis that had plagued Luna Nova, where upon Diana and six other witches had flown a broom to stop Croix's missile.

Ursula was expressing her admiration for how much Akko had grown as a witch and how the group of students' quick thinking had saved the day. Diana, ever dignified and controlled, merely accepted the compliments directed at her.

"It must've been very exciting then," Ursula offered her. "You two were really on the edge of space when all that finished. I can't imagine what the view looked like." She sighed dreamily, recalling when she and Akko had finally caught up with the mechanical monstrosity high in the Earth's atmosphere. Diana smiled at the memory, but waved her hand at Ursula's statement.

"It was quite lovely, sure, but I was preoccupied with other things at the time. Performing the Shiny Arc with Akko took most of my attention, after all."

Ursula, however, looked at her with wide eyes. "Did you say…you performed the spell _with_ Akko? As in, you worked _together_ to perform it?"

"…Yes?" Diana tried to hide her confusion. Ursula and Croix had broadcasted their escapade to practically the whole world. "Surely you must've seen that."

"Hmm…I guess I did, but…I assumed I was seeing things. That's…very surprising coming from you, Diana."

"Surprising? How?" Her brows furrowed. She couldn't think of much reason for Ursula to find her and Akko performing a spell together all that noteworthy.

"Oh, well...I didn't think you and Akko…" Ursula tapped her chin in contemplation, and Diana edged to the front of her seat in confusion. She stared at the professor a long moment, trying to imagine what it was that incited such a peculiar reaction.

Ursula adjusted her glasses and gave her a quizzical look. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "…To be able to pool your magic like that, your hearts must be very connected, is all."

"I…w-what?"

Connected? What did…connected? Diana had studied magic intensely since the first day she could _read,_ and in all that research she never came across the idea of…Their hearts connected? Akko and her? Ursula must've misspoken, used an unusual euphemism. That was the most likely… _connected?_

She wasn't implying…She wouldn't…but…what did…?

"I've never heard anything like that!" Diana felt her cheeks grow warm. Was she blushing? She wasn't blushing. Why would she blush?

"Have you really not? I mean, for simple spells, it's not that difficult, but for a spell as powerful as one of the Words, your heart and Akko's must truly be on the same level."

"T-the same level? W-what exactly are you saying?" She was stuttering now. That was frustrating. She never stuttered. Nothing about Ursula's strange (and unprompted!) statement should be making her stutter like a nervous child.

"What I'm saying is you two must really be…Oh shoot!" Ursula suddenly stood up and straightened her skirt. "Is it truly almost 4? I'm afraid I something I _must_ attend to! I'm sorry, Diana, but we'll have to finish this some other time."

Diana blinked as Ursula began to rush her out her office, before even finishing her statement. "W-wait!" She called as Ursula directed her through her door. "What do you mean on the same level? What are you-"

"Some other time, I'm sorry! I really am!" And with that, the door was closed in her face, and her questions were left unanswered. Diana replayed the conversation in head over and over, trying to figure out Ursula's meaning.

Performing magic with another was hardly uncommon. Witch parents would often perform spells with their children to help them gain a feel for magic. Diana could recall her own mother's hands on hers, guiding her wand as she learned her first levitation magic. What could Ursula be talking about then? Performing spells with others was child's play to any half-decent witch. Diana had spent almost all her life pouring her energy into magical research in order to fulfill her family name, and the only thing she had ever come across that was even remotely similar to this idea of hearts on the same level was myths about soulmate magic.

Soulmate magic was a frequent trope in sappy romance novels, but it had no basis in reality. Many upon many witches and magical experts had completely debunked the concept as having no scientific evidence to it. The idea of magic being more powerful when with someone you loved was a silly myth made by the overly sentimental. The stuff of poets and writers, not the real world, and certainly not of any witch who wished to be seen as a professional. Ursula must've been mistaken then.

…Not that anyone said a thing about soulmates of course. Soulmates in general were a silly concept after all. It was just the closest example she could think of. And she and Akko weren't… _that_. Obviously. Ursula's comment wasn't implying anything like that. Diana was just overthinking things, that was all. She and Akko weren't…  
They didn't have any…  
There was no…

 _Connected?!_

But then…the Seven Words of Arcturus were a different beast entirely from first grader levitation charms. Ursula, Chariot would be the formal expert on all matters related to them. If anyone knew all the ins and outs of such powerful and unknown magic, it would be her. Diana may have done years of research, but Ursula had a good decade over her. And it's not like she would _lie_ , would she?

She probably just meant that she and Akko were close. But then, why was it surprising to her that they could perform magic together? After all, Akko was her best friend. Though perhaps even that was too strong a descriptor. They had hardly been on good terms for very long. They were just good friends. Just friends. Her acquaintance really. They were amicable towards one another. They definitely knew each other and spoke on occasion. Diana definitely didn't see her that way.

Did she?  
No of course she…  
They weren't…  
Even if she…

"Oh no." She said, when the realization finally struck her. "Well, this is inconvenient."

* * *

So she (maybe) had a cru-inconvenient thoughts involving Akko. Possibly. Could go either way. That was…something?

In the (still up-in-the-air) event that she _did_ , potentially, have an unconfirmed, less than formal attachment to Akko, Diana didn't really know what to _do_ with that. Diana kept her emotions close to her chest. If she was to represent the full worth of the Cavendish name, she needed to be independent and in control. Being overly emotional would reflect poorly upon her, so she quelled any thoughts of outbursts and emotional reaction long ago, so that she could be a professional. Which meant that now, she had been forced into territory she had no experience in. This was not a subject she was willing to approach anyone, let alone Akko, with. Not to mention, she wasn't quite sure how to approach the girl in question anymore at all.

Ever since the crisis with the missile, Akko had outshined everyone on campus and became a veritable celebrity. Diana had enjoyed a level of popularity beforehand, as she had been known as the single most talented witch in Luna Nova. But when the smoke cleared and Akko stepped into her destiny, she had eclipsed everything Diana had done.

It was the perfect underdog story. More and more, people learned of the witch who came to school with no family name and no magical talent, who couldn't even _fly_ , who through sheer work and determination conquered the odds, mastered powerful spells and ushered in a new age of magic. And while Akko liked to occasionally boast of her newfound hero status, she still remained modest and friendly, and that just made the school love her even more.

Akko had help when she saved the day, and certainly, the other eight witches involved were the talk of the school. But Akko was practically ubiquitous. It was the quintessential tale of rags to riches. How would Diana compete with that? _She_ never _left_ riches. She was always expected to do great things, was always the shoe-in, the favorite. She was a Cavendish, but somehow, that meant little next to the school hero.

Diana groaned at her train of thoughts. So perhaps Akko had become a celebrity. Fine. So what? They were still friends, weren't they? And it's not like Akko had any difficulty approaching her when _she_ had been the popular one. So Diana could talk to her about this, couldn't she? Mention that Ursula had brought up…inconveniences? She didn't _enjoy_ talking about her emotions like that, but now it was on her mind, and it would make things very awkward if she let it stew.

Diana steeled herself and walked through the halls of Luna Nova in search of the girl. It was better to be honest about this sort of thing, and nothing _had_ to come out of it anyway. She could just share her thoughts with Akko, and get over her…whatever it was. She would just tell her of Ursula's strange fixation on their hearts being connected, and then gauge Akko's reaction to it. She'd probably find it laughable, really. It was a very silly idea, after all. They would laugh and move on, and all would return to normal.

She spotted Akko at the end of the hallway, and her cheeks felt warm. Which meant nothing, because this was simply an embarrassing subject to talk about, is all. She was just going to ask what Akko thought of the idea, and that would be the end of it. No deeper reasoning, no further plans. Just some small talk.

Diana found she had to force herself to walk forward. Inconvenient.

"AKKOOOO~!"

Just as Akko had noticed her making her way over, voices had sung out for her attention. It was, of all people, a group of three Minotaurs who worked at the school. They had been hanging banners of upcoming events around campus, and stopped in their tracks as soon as they had seen Akko. They cheered out overlapping greetings to the young witch, who just laughed and greeted them right back.

"Hi Slag! Hi Crunch! Hi Periwinkle!" Akko waved to each worker. "Oh Crunch, is your sister feeling any better? I haven't seen her today."

One of the Minotaurs, Crunch apparently, chuckled as he knelt down to meet Akko at her eye level. "Naw, she's still sick, but she says she'll be good enough to come in t'morrow. She's always workin' too hard."

"Agh, I hate when people do that. If I got to stay home from work I'd just relax and enjoy my time off!" Crunch barked out a hearty laugh, and the other two Minotaurs couldn't stop themselves from snickering as well.

"I'll be tellin' her you said that then! Listen, I gotta get back at it. I don't got no time off yet. Be seein' ya, Akko!"

She was even friends with the staff, for goodness sakes. When the spirits and faeries went on strike, it was Akko who stood by and represented them as their spokeswoman. Now almost all the faculty adored the girl. They'd exchange cheerful greetings, playfully tease the witch when she was late for class and happily ignore any of her misdemeanors they were supposed to report to the teaching staff.

It was also clear what the staff thought of _her._ Diana couldn't keep her mind from the image of Akko leading the workers in a chant. _'Aristocrat! Aristocrat!'_ Perhaps in the past, Diana had been admired, but had she ever really been loved, like the other witch was? When the whole school was against Akko, when Diana _herself_ was against her, Akko still had Lotte and Sucy. She had Ursula watching over her, and she won the hearts of not just them and not just the workers, but plenty others around Luna Nova. They stuck together no matter what Akko did, or what happened to her.

Diana cared for Hannah and Barbara, and no one would doubt that they were genuine friends. But Diana had never been so low. Would they have remained with her, if Diana had been put through the same? Would they have become friends if Diana hadn't been born into a witch family?

…Another difference between them then. Akko would never doubt the authenticity of her friends. She was a kind, genuine person. Even in their big "Let's Watch Akko Try to Fly" parties they had on occasion (which really could use a more concise name), Diana contended herself to sit on the sidelines sipping tea, whereas Akko connected with everyone. Even Hannah and Barbara had managed to find friendships among the Red and Green teams, while Diana couldn't bring herself to intrude on their dynamics.

If they deferred to her advice and expertise, that she could handle. She was groomed for it, after all. Tutoring? Easy. But trying to connect with people, the way that came so easily to Akko? She had no talent for it. She never needed it before.

Akko understood people. She believed in her dreams and encouraged others to do the same, and won the hearts of her friends through her genuine kindness and enthusiasm. Diana had looked down her nose at Akko, had scoffed and belittled her right alongside Hannah and Barbara.

Akko…didn't need to know what Ursula said, then. There was no need to talk about cru…Inconvenient thoughts. Akko could connect to whoever she wanted and make her own happiness. She didn't need to settle for someone who had treated her so coldly in the past. Whatever (unnamed) realization Diana had made regarding their relationship would just be kept to herself. It would probably just…go away, after a while. When Akko found someone more worthy of her time.

"Diana!" Akko waved cheerily. "Hi! Were you waiting for me?"

"I…no Akko, it's nothing. Just saying hello."

She seemed disappointed at her answer. Or perhaps that was Diana projecting. Could go either way. It didn't really matter. She should just go. But before she could, Akko had spoken to her again.

"Hey Diana? You okay?"

"…yes? Why do you ask, Akko?" She didn't want to have this conversation. Not now, when everything was still so fresh.

"Well, you just look a little sick, is all."

"Hmm?" She didn't want to act cold to her, not again, but Diana was still doing her best to discourage her from talking to her, at least for now.

"You look really grumpy and your face is all red."

"Hmm." It was clearly not working as intended. "I am not sick."

"Oh…well, are you grumpy about something? You can talk to me, you know!"

"I know." She _really_ didn't want to be having this conversation right now.

"So are you mad about something or not?"

"No." Why couldn't this be the one time Akko just…minded her business?

"Then why do look so mad? Maybe I can help if you'd tell me!" Akko really couldn't take a hint. Diana didn't want to share what was on her mind, and if she did, there was no way she even could say it to Akko's own face. How would she even phrase it?

"Because I have a crush on you and it's inconvenient to me." Yes, _that_ would go over swimmingly. Akko didn't need to know anything about that. She just needed to either keep acting disinterested or give a lie, so Akko would let her stew in peace. Maybe Diana did have feelings for her, but frankly, it didn't matter if their hearts were… _connected_ or not. Akko was the school hero, the one who revived Yggdrasil, the witch chosen by the Shiny Rod. Diana was…

She was suddenly aware of Akko's shocked expression. Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide. That was…odd. Diana hadn't said anything that would prompt such a reaction. She'd just been giving her short, one word answers. Nothing that should've…  
…

"Ah. That was...out loud?"

Akko, without changing her expression, just nodded silently. Diana suddenly felt very dizzy. Blood was definitely rushing to her head, and her legs felt very unstable. Akko was still gaping at her, waiting for her to say something. She should probably say something. Her throat was quite dry all of a sudden, and it was difficult to think of any something to say that could remedy this. So Diana said the first thing that came to her.

"…huh."

With that out of the way, Diana spun on her heels, walked evenly away Akko, and turned the corner to where she could not see her.

Hannah and Barbara hadn't been doing anything in particular, so they were mildly surprised to see Diana stride into their shared room with a blank expression and purpose in her steps. They were more surprised, however, at Diana walking right past them to her desk without saying a word of polite greeting to either like was typical of her. They watched as the composed witch pulled out her desk chair, straightened her skirt for a moment, and sat down with barely an acknowledgement that she was not alone.

So one must imagine their shock when the ever-dignified witch proceeded to slam her head face down on her desk with an audible groan.

* * *

 **(So I posted this on AO3 days ago because I like to double dip because I'm a rotten person, but for whatever reason I just could not get this to post here. I must've uploaded it like 4 times.)**


	2. Chapter 2

Neither Hannah nor Barbara were really sure if they wanted to confront Diana or not. One the one hand, she was _not_ the kind of person who would typically groan and faceplant into her desk, so that was somewhat concerning to see. On the other, Diana wasn't exactly open to discussing her problems on a good day, and made it clear when she didn't want to be disturbed. She had a privacy wall up in their room for a reason. Hannah muttered arguments under her breath with Barbara, debating not only if they should disturb Diana's silence, but who would be the one to do it. If Diana was having a bad enough day to whack her head on her desk, Hannah didn't want to be on the receiving end of another lecture.

After the few minutes of internal debate, the conundrum was suddenly solved when Diana had pulled several large books off her shelves and proceeded to commandeer the entirety of the coffee table in the middle of the room. She splayed out the pages, cross-referencing from one book to the next, clearly already deep into her work from how little she acknowledged there being anyone else in the room. And since she wasn't behind her wall anymore, talking to her was fair game.

"So...uh, Diana?" Hannah asked. "Everything okay?"

"Everything is okay, yes." She said, not looking up from her books.

"Ah, you're…sure?" Barbara piped up. "You seemed…upset when you came in."

"Did I? Hmm." Diana's brows furrowed, and…was she…blushing? Her?

They waited for Diana to expand on that, or offer them anything at all to work off of, but she seemed too engrossed in her books. There was a considerable silence in the room, only broken by Diana occasionally flipping through pages rapidly as she scoured through her books. Diana was usually a hard worker, but in Hannah's experience this was not her typical behavior. She didn't usually just ignore her two teammates standing awkwardly at the foot of her table. Barbara looked to Hannah, as though _she_ had the answers, and could only give a helpless shrug in response.

"Eh…what are you working on, then?" Barbara prompted again. "Is it homework, or…?" Diana, who had been running her fingers along lines of text in one of her books, didn't look up but did suddenly pause for a moment. With an almost unnoticeable shake of her head, she resumed her work.

"It's nothing, girls. There's no need to concern yourselves." Perhaps they should respect her wishes and let her be, but Hannah didn't feel satisfied with that. Something was clearly going on, and she wasn't going to leave her friend in distress. Besides that, she wanted to try the new tea she bought and there was no longer any room on the coffee table for her to sit and drink it as she liked to.

Shooting a quick glance to Barbara, Hannah stepped up to the table. "Well, we're your teammates, you know? So if you need help with anything, you can just ask us."

Barbara came to her side at the table as well, smiling encouragingly at Diana. "You've helped us out a lot, so if there's anything we can do, just let us know!" That had been enough to divert her attention from whatever she had been working on. Diana seemed stunned for a moment at her friend's solidarity. She glanced back and forth between them and her books, the concentration clear on her face. With an audible sigh, she finally turned and looked her teammates in the eyes.

"I…I need you two to keep this secret for me, if you could, please?" Diana asked them. Hannah did her best to hide her shock. Diana had never asked them to keep secrets for her before. Diana never acted like she _had_ secrets for them to keep. Now she was even more concerned at what exactly had happened to their friend. Never the less, she and Barbara nodded their heads solemnly. If Diana needed their help, she could trust them.

"I mean it. This is…" Diana trailed off. When did she ever trail off? "T-this can't leave this room. This is not something I'm…comfortable with having anyone know. I need you to promise me you'll keep it confidential."

"Diana…" Hannah sighed. "I don't really get it, but yeah, of course we promise. We won't tell anyone."

Barbara made a show of crossing her heart with a finger. "Not a soul. You can trust us completely, Diana."

Seeing their agreement brought a rare smile to Diana's face. But even then, she seemed to debate with herself whether or not to tell them. After a moment, and a small, calming breath, Diana steeled her gaze. There was no denying now that Diana's cheeks were definitely red. Hannah had never seen her so out of sorts. She couldn't imagine what had happened to Diana to get her so frazzled. As Diana opened her mouth, Hannah's mind ran wild with what could've possibly happened to their teammate.

"I'm researching how to perform an amnesia spell."

"…You're _what_ , now?"

"An amnesia spell." Diana explained. "It's a forbidden spell that allows one to tamper with memories and erase them, and I'm currently attempting to find a way to learn the steps to perform it. As such, I…need you to not tell anyone of this."

Hannah tried to form a response. She really did. Glancing over her shoulder for help, Barbara seemed to be in the same boat as her. Diana didn't seem all that perturbed by their silence, and returned to her books with confidence as she continued to lay out her plan.

"Now, for obvious ethical reasons, witches are not allowed to use this spell on someone without very special permission, and a student knowing it is breaking a very large number of rules. I would never condone this normally, but I believe drastic measures may have become necessary." Never in her life would Hannah have believed Diana would ask her for help to break not only school rules, but potentially the actual magic law.

"Diana, you're trying to brainwash someone?!"

"What?" She looked up in confusion, before her expression fell to a very serious gaze. "No! Of course not! Obviously I only plan to use this responsibly. I'm just erasing some short term memories. Just…ten minutes' worth, maybe fifteen. A half-hour at the maximum." Hannah wondered if this was meant to be reassuring to them.

"Is there a…particular person you're trying to brainwash?"

"It's _not_ brainwashing, Barbara. I'm merely…correcting a…social faux pas, as it were. Now, I believe these books may give me a start on where to look, but I doubt such a spell would simply be written out for all to see, so I will likely have to find a way to access Luna Nova's archives." Diana stood and began pacing, her finger tapping her chin. "I can most likely secure permission for some materials, but even with my privileges, no professor would directly approve of what I'm doing…hmm."

"Wow, Diana," Hannah interrupted, (and frankly, someone had to). "This is…really not like you."

"What did you _do_ that was so bad you need to erase someone's memories?" Barbara asked.

"As I said, I'm correcting a faux pas." Hannah ran the phrase through her mind for a second, to translate its meaning from Diana's extensive vocabulary.

"Sooo, wait," she said, having deciphered Diana's intentions. "You're trying to brainwash someone because you said something embarrassing? Isn't that a bit…?" She couldn't really choose a word that felt appropriate, but Diana didn't wait for her to think much, giving an annoyed roll of her eyes.

"Again with this phrasing? I thought I made it clear that I am _not_ brainwashing anyone. The _only_ memory I'm changing is when I told them of a crush I had." Suddenly, Diana froze in place, quickly looking to her teammates, as if hoping they hadn't heard her.

They heard her.

"Oh my god! You confessed to someone!? Really?" Hannah couldn't hope to keep the excitement from her voice.

Diana actually _growled_ in frustration. "I just can't seem to speak today…"

"You _gotta_ tell us everything!"

"No," Diana said seriously, "I do _not_ have to tell you everything. You promised to keep this secret, girls."

"Aww, come on!" Hannah complained. "If we don't know what's going on, how can we help you?" Diana was not moved by her argument.

"We can discuss this without needing proper nouns."

"That'd be weird just talking about someone without even knowing who they are. I can't just agree to scrub someone's brain if I don't even know who it is!"

" _Girls."_ The warning in the tone was made very clear.

"I mean, you don't have to tell us their _name_ exactly! We can uh…" The fact that she was backing off on such good gossip was a sign of Hannah's love and respect for her dear friend. It was unrelated to knowing she was planning to wipe people's minds.

"Let's just…use a random name! So we can talk about it!" Barbara jumped in to her rescue. "Like, someone hypothetically. Someone you'd definitely never wanna date. Like…Akko!"

Diana coughed.

"Hee hee, yeah!" Hannah laughed, playing along. "It's not like you'd _ever_ go for her. She's totally un-date-able! The worst! I can't imagine what someone wou-"

"Anyway!" Barbara (rudely) cut her off. "So let's say the person you confessed to was Akko. Tell us everything you said to her, Diana!"

"…Sure." Diana said hesitantly. "Hypothetically, I was talking to…Akko, and I had been thinking about my feelings for this person. Akko in this case. As it were. As I was thinking, she was asking me what was wrong, and I…told her I had a crush by accident. I had said to… _her_ that having a crush on her was inconveniencing me." Barbara nodded along as Diana told her story.

"So you confessed to hypothetical Akko, by accident, by saying that you thinking she was cute was a huge burden on you." Hannah was so glad Barbara was taking the lead on this. It was hard enough to be on the sidelines for it. If _she_ had been the one doing the talking, she definitely would've laughed by now, and that would've made things worse. Maybe that dumb romance book Barbara liked had something like this and she was too used to find it funny.

Diana didn't look to find it all that funny either, though she never really found anything all that funny. "That was not how I worded it," Diana defended herself. "But in essence…yes. Hypothetical Akko asked me what was wrong, and I said that having a crush on her was inconveniencing me. Once I realized what had happened, I left."

"And you jumped immediately to giving her amnesia." Barbara said flatly.

Diana just waved her hand dismissively. "Not immediately, of course. It took me several moments to remember that I had heard rumors of a spell that could erase memories. Once I did, however, I decided the best course of action would be to make sure no one remembers such a conversation ever occurred. Hypothetical Akko isn't burdened with my feelings, I move past this childish crush, and we're all spared my haphazard confession." Diana looked quite proud of herself for coming up with what she thought was a very efficient solution. "Once I learn this spell, everything shall return to how it should be."

Hannah and Barbara shared a look that was gently described as being…concerned. Diana, who normally lectured others on ethics and morals, really did not seem to grasp what was at stake here with what was loosely described as being a plan. Hannah figured that with everything that had happened to her recently, some things would change, but this seemed like a total reversal of her behavior, and not in any good way. The conversation suddenly seemed a lot less funny. Hannah turned back to Diana and asked the burning question on her mind.

"But, are you really comfortable with messing with hypothetical Akko's mind like that?"

Diana blinked at the question, obviously unprepared to answer. "I…"

"Like, you said yourself." Barbara spoke up. "The amnesia spell is forbidden for a reason. Is that something you really want to do, especially to someone you love?" Diana's cheeks flared red at the word and she hastily tried to cover it up.

"L-love may be too strong of a word here! It's just…an infatuation, most likely."

"Diana, that's not the point."

"The point was to correct a miscommunication. There's no need to spread more."

" _Diana."_

Hannah jumped back into the conversation. "Could you really live with yourself knowing you did this to her? Poked around in her head and just delete memories you didn't like? You don't see how messed up that is?"

"T-that's not…" Diana sputtered. "I wasn't planning to…!"

Realization finally set on Diana's face, and her eyes widened in horror as the implications of what she had just been preparing to do set in. Diana rested her head on her hand, suddenly looking incredibly guilty.

"I...I can't believe what I was thinking. How could I ever look at myself again knowing I did that?" Diana said. "H-how could I do that to hypothetical Akko?"

Barbara reached out and gave Diana's slumped shoulder a small squeeze. "I don't think you'd want to do that to anyone, Diana."

"Even you're not _that_ mean!" Hannah teased. Barbara shot a quick glare for that, but Diana at least smiled at it. She let out a sigh, and smiled in gratitude towards the two of them.

"Thank you for that. You're…you're right. You both are. I wasn't thinking clearly. It's been a…trying day. I just…it seemed like the easiest solution at the time. I couldn't think of any other way out…how else to fix this…"

"You could talk to her?" Hannah offered. Diana just crossed her arms at that. Barbara rolled her eyes.

"Well, it's that, or just avoid her for the rest of the year." Diana raises a brow, and began to tap her chin in thought.

"…I am ahead in most of my studies. Perhaps I could just retire to my estate for the rest of the year."

Hannah gaped at her for a second before failing to hold in a frustrated groan. This had gone on long enough in her opinion. She did her best to imitate Diana's typical scolding posture. " _That_ is definitely not proper witch behavior Diana. You need to be more responsible." Diana seemed taken aback at being on the other side of a lecture. "You obviously can't just quit school _again_. And uh, brainwashing, or invisibility spells or whatever aren't a good solution and you know it. You always make sure everyone keeps on their best behavior, so now you gotta follow your own rules this time and solve this problem responsibly! So you, uh…"

How did Diana do this all the time? Thinking of words was hard. "You…need to be responsible and just talk to her, without erasing anyone's mind. You gotta clear this misunderstanding up in person."

There was another long silence that hung over the room. Diana stared at Hannah for a moment, before glancing down at the table once more. She seemed deep in thought, running her hands through her hair. Hannah had just internally complimented her for her ability to think of things to say, and now she seemed to be trying to avoid it as much as possible.

"I…suppose if there's no alternative, then…" Diana finally said, with great reluctance.

"Come on, Diana. It's not that bad." Barbara reassured her.

Hannah smiled. "No matter how it goes, it'll still be better than, you know, brainwashing."

"It wasn't-!" Diana started, but quickly thought better of it. "…Never mind. I already regret quite a few of my choices today, but I suppose I'd regret that choice for the rest of my life." With another small bit of hesitation, Diana stood up from the table at last and made her way to the door. Her fingers wrapped around the door knob, and she took a deep breath.

"And I'm really hoping that I won't regret doing…whatever this will be." She turned to her teammates one last time. "Thanks again, Hannah, Barbara. I'm going to go…speak words. With Ak-...hypothetical Akko."

Hannah didn't want to ruin the moment by rolling her eyes. She instead waved Diana out and wished her good luck. "Go get her, Diana." With that, Diana left the room, more flustered than when she had come in, but with any luck, in a better mood as well. And less likely to brainwash someone, which was always a plus as far as Hannah was concerned.

"You know," Barbara muttered to her remaining roommate, "you laid it on sorta thick there with how much Akko is the worst."

"What?"

"At the start of it. Un-date-able? Really? That's not even a word."

Hannah, undeterred, jumped to defend herself. "Look, can you _blame_ me? If I have to listen to one more spiel about 'how my totally platonic friend Akko is really amazing' or 'how Akko is so confusing to me sometimes but not in a bad way,' I am going to _lose_ it."

"Do you really think them getting together will make that go away?"

"No, but she'll spend more time over _there_ , which means Lotte and Sucy will get stuck with it instead of us." Which, okay, was perhaps not the most noble of motivations, but as far as Hannah was concerned, Barbara would thank her when they could finally go a night without hearing their daily dose of "Akko makes me feel emotions" prattle.

Diana was great and all, and Hannah had nothing but good wishes for her, but some people really needed to get out more.

* * *

 **(So the roles being reversed wasn't _just_ "Akko is popular, Diana is not." Now Diana is the one who...something something Mayeneb Dysheebudo or whatever. Hannah and Barbara get to take Lotte and Sucy's roles, but I don't think Hannah is being entirely selfless here.**

 **I don't usually find my writing all that funny ever, but Diana being like, what, 15 or 16 and saying "I'll just retire to my estate" is really amusing to me.**

 **As an aside, "social faux pas" is an oxymoron, because "faux pas" implies a social situation. Left it this way because I like Diana using more words than she ought to.  
...As an additional aside, there was an alternate ending to the last chapter after Diana says "huh" where instead of just calmly walking away, she full on _booked it_ away from Akko. It was only funnier because it was too OOC for even this. So see? I do pretend to care about canon!)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Okay.  
So.

Talking to Akko. She could do that. Diana must've done it a hundred times over the course of the year. She had experience with this. They had talked, what, yesterday? Yes, that's right. They talked about if it was weird that she had Shiny Chariot trading cards now that Shiny Chariot was their teacher.

Diana glowered at the thought of her. Why did Shiny Ursula have to go putting ideas in her head? So maybe she _did_ use…soulmate magic with Akko. Maybe that was a thing that happened. That didn't mean that she had to _mention_ it. She could've been spared all this if Professor Chariot just didn't tell her the truth about her connection with Akko.

In fact, maybe Diana should confront her first, let her know this was inappropriate behavior for a teacher. It was not acceptable for her to go around telling her students that they had their hearts connected with their very good friends. She should march over to her office and speak to her, and lecture her for a couple hours or so, and then it would be late and she would go to bed and wouldn't be able to…

Diana shook the thoughts from her head. She was getting too stressed out and that had been the root of her problem in the first place. She took a deep breath and counted to ten, thinking calm thoughts. No more distractions.

Okay.  
So.

Talking to Akko. The first step would have to be finding her. Her room was the most likely candidate. Classes would be almost all over at this point, and Akko didn't have any classes scheduled after 3 anyway, something she had learned through observation.

…Which didn't mean anything more than Diana was an observant person. She had just…derived Akko's schedule by the times when they met up and talked, and it wasn't like Akko never mentioned her class times. And she only payed a socially appropriate amount of attention to when and where they tended to talk.

So her room was Diana's best bet. If she wasn't there, there was a couple of places she could also be. The kitchen was likely, as Akko found it very easy to sneak food when the cooking staff outright gave it to her. She could also be talking to Ursula like Diana had been earlier that day.

…What if she _was_ talking to Ursula? Ursula could spill the truth about soulmate magic to her and that would end disastrously. Diana had been running potential conversations with Akko through her head ever since she left her own room, and none of them factored in the possibility that Akko might have found out that they might actually be… _that_. What would she say to her then? What would Akko think of that? What would…?

Diana forced herself to stop again. First of all, soulmates aren't real, and occupying her thoughts with that was inconvenient to everybody. Secondly, there was no guarantee she was talking to Ursula and getting ideas planted in her head. Diana still had yet to go to the red team's room and see if she was there. Diana just needed to focus and take things one step at a time.

Okay.  
So.

* * *

Her knuckles rapped against the wood of the door, and from inside she heard the telltale shuffling of the room's residents stepping up to answer her knock. After a moment, Sucy Mambavaran opened the door, and Diana could peer inside. Lotte was sitting on one of the beds, and Akko was nowhere to be seen.

"Hello, Sucy, Lotte." Diana greeted them politely. "I'm looking fo-"

"Looking for Akko?" Sucy suddenly cut her off with her own question. Diana blinked, and tried to regain her earlier composure.

"Y-yes. I'm looking for…Akko. Is she here right now? Or do yo-"

"By the North Building." Sucy interrupted again.

"…I see. Thank you then. I'll leave you two to your business then." Diana turned to leave towards the North Building (which was not, thankfully, where Ursula's office was) and correct this whole situation.

"Oh, by the way, Diana." Before she could get very far, Sucy had called out to her. Diana turned back around with a raised brow. Sucy's face was blank, but after a moment, the corners of her lips slowly turned upwards into a maniacal looking smirk. "It sounded like you two have quite a bit to talk about."

From behind her, Lotte covered her mouth and did her best to pretend not to be snickering at her misfortune. Unlike Sucy, who made no effort to hide that she was snickering at her misfortune. Which definitely meant they knew what happened, which means more minds to era-

No, no, no. It had been decided she would _not_ go through with that plan. That plan had been vetoed out.

Sucy had closed the door already while Diana had felt her face heating up again, so she couldn't even get the chance to say something to defend herself. With a record low level of dignity, Diana began to make her way to the North Building.

Her cheeks still felt overly hot as she made her way outside. There were less students outside, and she was sure it was visibly obvious she was blushing. Glancing upwards, she could see the North Building ahead of her, and her heart started beating faster. Diana forced her legs to keep moving forward, to keep her upper half walking towards her destination. She could feel herself clenching and unclenching her hands as her arms swung stiffly back and forth. Her throat felt dry and her stomach felt like it had been flipped upside down. It was all very uncomfortable and unwelcome.

Diana stopped in her tracks. There, in front of the building, pacing back and forth, was Akko Kagari. She hadn't noticed her yet. Her delicate hand was covering the lovely lower half of her soft features as it rested on her chin, and her deep, piercing red eyes were half closed in contemplation, as her thin brows fell beneath her long, auburn bangs in…

…Her hand was on her face. She looked like she was thinking because she had a funny look on her face and her eyebrows were under her hairline. Either way, Akko hadn't noticed Diana standing there yet. It was time to do this. Diana would have to start this conversation. She just needed to pick and choose her words, so she could get through this with minimal embarrassment. And it would all start as soon she gave some sort of greeting to the other girl to signify her presence. It may not be an easy conversation, but it was something she had to do. She had to take responsibility here. It was time to talk. Had someone painted the building recently? The bricks looked remarkably white today. It contrasted well with the intimidating architecture. Very large and imposing.

"Diana?"

Akko noticed her there. Akko was looking at her and was definitely aware of her presence and now they were going to have a conversation and Diana was definitely not prepared for this and maybe she should've learned the amnesia spell as a just-in-case and she should probably say something right about now.

"…Good morning, Akko." A small voice in Diana's head told her it was close to 4:30 in the afternoon, but what was one more mistake at this point?

"Oh, Diana. Is this a _convenient_ time for you?" Akko glared at her, and Diana involuntarily winced. So this is how it would go down then.

"I…was hoping to explain my actions from earlier…if you're available?" Akko's glare merely deepened, and she pointed her finger at her accusingly.

"What's your problem with me anyway? What did I even _do_?"

"W-what?" Diana hadn't been sure how Akko would react, but she hadn't expected her to be angry.

"I thought we were friends, but now you're back to teasing me. I just wanted to know if you were mad. And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have kept asking, but you could've just told me you didn't wanna talk about it instead of…w-whatever that was!"

"Wait. Y-you thought I was trying to make you leave?" What should Diana do with that? She really needed to just somehow move past her feelings for Akko, but if Akko thought she was just belittling her, she didn't want to leave her with hurt feelings. But if she told Akko she wasn't making fun of her, she'd be admitting her crush to her.

"Yeah that's what I thought! You just embarrassed me in the middle of the hallway and called me annoying and then you just left before I could even say anything! What was I supposed to think?"

"A-Akko, that wasn't my…!" She had meant to say 'intention', but that _had_ been her intention, hadn't it? She _had_ been hoping to get Akko to leave because she couldn't talk to the girl after everything that happened. Everything was too raw to compose herself around her. Diana had spent the rest of the day beside herself with worry as to how Akko would respond, but Akko had interpreted it as a taunt rudely directed at her.

Diana had, well obviously not made peace with but accepted the idea of Akko knowing her feelings. She hadn't wanted her to know, and so in some ways playing it off as simply a cruel joke seemed appealing. She and Akko obviously wouldn't work, so it's not like she needed to know about Diana's infatuation with her. Logically, it was better that she think Diana was simply insulting her, using a fake confession as a distraction to simply escape a conversation. It was easier than what she had been planning to do earlier before being talked down by her teammates. So she should let Akko think she was simply being facetious, let this entire crush of hers simply be left forgotten and officially unspoken.

But despite what her head was telling her to do, her heart preferred Akko think Diana was simply a weird screw-up that had a crush on a girl out of her league than having regressed back into a schoolyard bully. It was an idiotic decision, but Diana cared too much for her friend to leave her with hurt feelings. She already said the truth to her once today, might as well make it clear.

Even if this would be the most embarrassing conversation of her life.

"L-look. Erm, Akko. I'm here to…explain my earlier actions. I-it's not…ah, it wasn't like…" Speaking full sentences wasn't typically this difficult for her. Diana kept forcing herself to make eye contact before involuntarily dropping it almost immediately. This was not helping her argument appeal to Akko. From her brief stolen glances at her face, she could see her anger slowly turning into confusion. "I…you see…"

This was a pathetic display. Diana knew how to speak, she knew how to speak to Akko, and if that wasn't enough, she had already _said_ what she wanted to say earlier by complete accident. This situation couldn't get worse, so there was no longer any reason to be nervous about it. She'd spent the entire day being embarrassed and affronted at every turn, there really wasn't much dignity left for to lose. It's likely not healthy to be emboldened by such facts, but today, she'd take what she could get.

"W-when I said…w-what I said this morning, w-what I meant was…" This was it, the moment of truth. She just needed to say it. "Akko…I..."

"HEEEY! AKKO! There you are!"  
Oh no. Not _now._

Amanda O'Neill, oblivious as ever, had suddenly inserted herself into their conversation. Akko seemed surprised to see her too, especially as she walked over and slapped her hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, what's the deal? You said you were gonna hang with me, Jazz and Contz, and you never showed up." Akko looked momentarily chastised, but quickly dismissed it.

"O-oh right. Sorry Amanda, I'm just…dealing with something right now."

"Oh," Amanda said, looking around and finally noticing Diana there. "Am I interrupting something, or…?" Thankfully, now was the one time O'Neill decided to be observant. Perhaps if Diana let her down gently, she could get her to just leave so she could do whatever this was.

"Y-yes, Akko and I were just having a private discus-. "Diana tried to explain, but she found herself cut off by Akko's own, louder explanation. Akko returned her attention from Amanda with another angry glare that shot through Diana.

"Yeah, Diana was just explaining why I'm such an _annoyance_ to her."

"What?" Amanda seemed surprised at that, before joining Akko in narrowing her eyes at her. "Really, Diana? You being a jerk to Akko _again?_ I thought you got past this."

This was just not going to be her day at all, was it? Trying her best to work past the disdainful stares directed at her, she stammered out another excuse. "L-look, it was a misunderstanding, and I came here to correct it! There's no need for anyone else to get involved." If she could just keep the details to her chest, she could spare everyone some embarrassment. Akko remained unconvinced, and balled her fists on her hips.

"A misunderstanding? You were making fun of me when I was just trying to be nice!"

"A-Akko, I wasn't teasing! I was just…I d-don't think you heard me correctly, I was…!"

"Yeah, I heard you! You said I was 'inconvenient' to you!"

"T-that's not...!" Her eyes glanced to Amanda, who peered back at her with furrowed brows. "Look Amanda, it's n-not what you think." Diana had no idea how she was going to explain this, but if she could avoid just one shameful incident today, it'd be enough. Amanda could do without knowing the sordid details.

"I don't really get what this is about," she started, "but you better not be acting all stuck up like you used to."

"I wasn't being malicious! I w-was just…!" She and Amanda had never truly seen eye to eye, being the top student and the school rebel respectively, and O'Neill looked unlikely to give her the benefit of the doubt here. Ignoring Diana's stammering, she simply turned to her friend.

"What even happened anyway? Why are you two all ticked at each other?"

Diana's heart raced in her chest. Akko wouldn't just say it to her, would she? Surely she'd agree O'Neill didn't need to actually know what had been said. Could Diana just have this saving grace today? Just a single person that didn't know about her feelings for Akko?

"I asked her what was wrong, and Diana said she had a crush on me and it was inconvenient to her, and then she just left! Can you believe that?"

And there was the _one_ thing she had really been hoping would remain unsaid. Diana found her throat felt too dry, her face too hot. She couldn't think of a single response to voice. Akko was still glaring daggers right through her heart, awaiting an explanation for what she thought was another cruelty of hers. For a moment, it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

And then Amanda. Amanda O'Neill. That smug, foul-mouthed, delinquent and poor excuse for a witch. _Laughed._

"Pfft! Oh my-!" She said in-between her (utterly and completely unwelcome!) cackles. "Y-you said you had a crush on _Akko?!_ A-and it was inconven- pff-hfft!" She grabbed her sides, finding this way more amusing than what should've been appropriate.

"Amanda, it's not funny." Akko reprimanded O'Neill. If Diana could bring herself to speak right now, she would've agreed. She found herself burying her head in her hands, and she knew her entire face was red right now. Whatever hypothetical conversation she had tried to psyche herself up for, it wasn't nearly as awful as this.

With the…cat out of the bag, there was no longer any reason to tread carefully and mince her words with O'Neill. After allowing the reprehensible witch to get her giggles out, Diana had finally gathered the shattered remains of her pride enough to speak full sentences once more. "…Yes. I was going to talk to _Akko_ about why I said…that." She muttered, all confidence and poise in her voice long gone. "I was hoping to explain my actions in _private._ "

"Oooh, I getcha!" Amanda said, winking irritatingly. "I'll get out of your way, then."

While she could've lived without anyone else knowing of her faux pas, Diana could at least breathe somewhat easier with Amanda leaving her and Akko to their business. It wasn't like her day could get worse at this point. This entire ordeal was mortifying enough. Her eyes trailed O'Neill as she, with an ever-present grin on her face, casually strolled over to the North Building.

Where she then faced the two of them.  
And promptly sat down.

Diana gaped at her long and hard. O'Neill just shifted on her legs to make herself more comfortable, before she caught Diana's eyes boring a hole into her. Instead of actually leaving, her grin just grew. And she had the utter audacity to wave her fingers as a signal for her to proceed with her discussion. As if she wasn't sitting there watching them with a smug look on her face.

If she could kill with but a glance, that rotten, amused expression would disappear from O'Neill's detestable face _very_ quick. She had assumed at one point that O'Neill must've had a conscience somewhere deep, deep, down that gave her some social awareness, but clearly Diana had been giving her way too much credit to actually acknowledge and listen to the little voice in her head. If O'Neill was actually capable of that, she wouldn't be sitting there ogling their private discussion like a sideshow. If she thought Diana would stand for this, she-

"Alright, so spill." In her frustration, she had been momentarily distracted from the humiliating embarrassment that had consumed her earlier, and had conveniently forgotten that Akko was standing right behind her. "Why'd you say that to me?"

Diana's head whipped in between her and the delinquent sitting ten feet from them. "…Must we do this i-in front of _her?_ "

"Just pretend I'm not here, guys! You do you!" She called out from the sidelines.

Between Akko, the girl she had developed feelings for, glaring at her demanding answers, and O'Neill, her current least favorite person in the world, watching the scene unfold with unconcealed glee, and Diana's stomach feeling like it was being tumbled and flipped through a washing machine, there was only one thought in her mind coherent enough for her to properly notice.

She _really_ needed to think of a harsher word to describe this day than 'inconvenient.'

* * *

 **(So here's the thing. I ended up splitting this into two chapters because Amanda dropping in on Diana and Akko's big anguished talk ended up making the whole thing run longer, and I don't like having huge waits between chapters. I didn't want y'all waiting for weeks for what's like 3K words and one step away from being crack. …Do people still use crack to describe fanfiction? Am I dating myself here?**

 **Either way, next time! Amanda joins Ursula and Hannah & Barbara as she too gets to help Diana process having feelings for others. probably won't be livestreaming Diana having a mental breakdown, because phones aren't allowed on Luna Nova, but then Amanda doesn't follow the rules anyway so we'll see)**


	4. Chapter 4

In a word, this day was disastrous.

Or no, that wasn't right, perhaps…catastrophic. Maybe lamentable? Cataclysmic. It would have to be at least as many syllables as inconvenient, and Diana felt she was already stretching things by choosing to pronounce it as four. This was a difficult task, but thinking of these words was still quite a bit easier than thinking of the ones that she was preparing to say aloud right now.

Akko, who had somehow interpreted her impromptu admission of a crush as a personal insult directed at her, was tapping her foot awaiting explanation. O'Neill, who had through her disgusting lack of tact and awareness had interpreted this explanation as a _thing_ she should _watch_ , sat a dozen feet from them on the grass. Diana would kill her, if her own survival wasn't jeopardized by this mortifying ordeal.

"So. As I said." Diana did her best to sound confident and assured. If O'Neill wanted a show, she would leave disappointed. "This entire…event has been a misunderstanding." She would not give O'Neill the satisfaction of seeing her flustered. Granted, it may be slightly too late for that, but nonetheless, Diana found spite to be an excellent motivator to talk to Ak-

Wait. No. She was talking to Akko. She was _talking_ to _Akko._ Akko whose heart was _connected_ to hers. This was not good. This was very bad in fact. She told Akko she had a crush on her to her actual face and that's what this whole event was about. And now she was talking to her about it. To Akko. About her crush. In front of people. Who were watching her. Talk to Akko. _Akko_.

"Y-yes!" Diana continued, sounding unconfident and unsure. "A b-big m-misunderstanding, as I s-said. That it was. Misunderstood. As I said. P-previously."

"You already said that. What part am I not getting then?"

"W-well…it's…uh…."

O'Neill stifled an annoying laugh from afar. Diana felt her muscles tense at the sound. So she really wasn't going to wise up and make herself scarce. If that accursed witch thought Diana was a spectacle to be ogled, she would soon be eating her words, along with every other jeer and taunt she would dare to soon regret. Throwing a quick, dirty look in her direction, Diana closed her eyes and turned her nose up, as regal and proud as she could be. "…It's a complicated series of events, but I can assure you, my intention was never to be insulting."

"What does _that_ even mean?" Diana opened her eyes for the briefest of moments, and saw that while Akko's hands remained firmly on her hips aggressively, her brow arched in confusion and she was also _looking_ at her while she awaited an explanation.

"It…! I-it means…I, erm, I d-didn't…w-when I _said_ that…I…" It was difficult to tell if her face was paling or if it blushing yet again without a mirror, but there was definitely an amount of blood flowing in some direction relative to it.

Akko's anger had subsided and been replaced with concern. "Are you _okay_ , Diana? Have you been, I dunno, cursed or something? Because you're acting sorta…" She waved her hand vaguely, searching for a description.

"Like a nutjob?" O'Neill offered.

"I was gonna say strange. Diana, if you got hexed or something, we can take you to the nurse, she would know what to do."

Calamitous. That was a good word. Very descriptive, with very powerful connotations. When one said their day was calamitous, it carried a certain weight. The listener would feel the implication of the speaker's plight. One did not drop a word like calamitous without serious thought. "I…I haven't been cursed or hexed or anything of the sort. I j-just…t-the reason for my behavior is, um, non-magical. Well, i-it's sort of magic related. But, ah, distantly, as it were."

It wasn't a lie, considering she was only in this mess because of Ursula opening her eyes to theories about soulmate magic. She may not have been cursed, but she definitely could've controlled herself had she not had her mind on that. And wait. What was she thinking? She couldn't tell Akko about that, that would definitely make all this worse. "O-on second thought, i-it wasn't magic related in any way. At all."

"Sooo, if you weren't cursed then, why'd you say that to me in the hallway?"

"That was…"

"A misunderstanding?" O'Neill butted in.

"N-no, I wasn't…I mean yes, but that's…ah…"

This was pointless. She didn't want to be here, and at this rate, she'd be at this all day. Just say it, retreat back to the room, possibly throw up, and move on already. That was not her usual level of planning, but it would do for now. "T-that was…I said that by accident."

"Accident?" Two voices repeated at the same time. One was confused, and somewhat doubtful. The other had spoken with mirth. Damn that O'Neill. Why was she still here?

"I…I had a lot on my m-mind, and I was having… _difficulty_ processing…things, and, uh, I h-hadn't _meant_ to say such a thing, but w-when you had come to speak with me, I had forgotten m-myself and I…erm, accidently may have…v-voiced my…inner thoughts." Akko took a moment to parse through her words and form a coherent sentence out of them, and upon completion, suddenly looked quite flustered.

"Wait, y-you were telling the…truth?"

"Oooh." O'Neill cooed from the sidelines. Diana really did what she could to tune it out. She was actually saying this (again). Oh god, this was a bad idea, why was she doing this to herself (again), oh man.

"Y-yes. I, erm, suppose I w-was. Telling the…ah, t-truth. A-about having…a…" She couldn't bring herself to say what it was, couldn't say it in person, not when Akko was looking at her so.

"A special place in my heart for you, Atsuko~" Diana fists clenched as she whipped around to face Amanda.

"O'Neill, if you don't stop _this_ instant I swear!"

"What? Me? You were stuttering, I was just helping out!"

"Helping?! If you think for a second-!"

"So…wait," a voice called out from behind her, and Diana blinked as she remembered she was _talking_ to _Akko._ "You…you actually _do_ have a crush on me? Like for real."

"Y-." Diana tried to speak again. It didn't seem to be working out for her. It was a reoccurring trend she could do without today. But she could still move her head, so she gave a simple nod.

"R-really?"

Diana nodded again. This was much easier, she should talk to Constanze and learn to communicate like this all the time. _She_ never had to deal with saying something utterly banal to girls she found calamitous.

"I-if you _do_ , for real, have a crush on me…Why is that…inconvenient?"

"I…I don't know. I-it's just that…well, you're _you_. And that's…different, for me."

"Uh. Okay?" It seemed like a perfectly good summation of her problem, and Diana couldn't see any reason why Akko would be confused by it.

"Well, if that's cleared up then…" Diana started.

"It really isn't!"

"Akko, why did you think I was insulting you? When I said…w-what I said?" Akko looked up in surprise, and began twiddling her fingers nervously. Her cheeks began turning a light shade of pink.

"Oh, it's…sort of embarrassing…"

O'Neill picked now to butt in with another unhelpful comment. "You two really have a lot in common!" Akko payed her no mind, and Diana found that very envious.

"I-it's just that, I mean, you never responded to any of my hints, so I thought you didn't see me that way. I thought you were making fun of my feelings."

Time seemed to stop for a moment as Akko's words impacted her.

"Wait. You…hints? What?"

"L-look, I don't know how to flirt, okay?! I've never asked someone out so I thought if I just looked interested or available or whatever, _you'd_ take the lead!"

"Oh my god." A third voice snickered from afar.

"Hints? What?" Diana blanched. "What? What hints?"

"Diana, I've been coming to talk to you after class like every day for _weeks!_ I've been telling you every time I have time off and trying to see if you're okay and stuff like that!"

"T-that doesn't…! You t-talk with Lotte and Sucy every day!"

"I _live_ with them! I hitchhiked to your house like, a month ago because you were leaving!"

"That didn't mean you had…wait, you…had a crush on _me_?!"

"Yeah I did! Do! Whichever!"

O'Neill rolled her eyes. "Oh, no way."

Akko had feelings for her. Diana might've felt relieved or happy, had it not been consumed by absolute rage. Akko had been throwing _hints_ at her? All this nonsense she's endured, everything she did to avoid this and Akko had been trying to flirt with her! She had wasted so much time blushing and acting like a schoolgirl with a crush and she could've avoided it all. This entire day she spent mulling over this crush as a big inconvenience, and now this whole situation was…was..! It was very convenient was what it was! She had racked her brain trying to go against her morals to learn illegal spells and think of words like 'Calamitous' and _now_ there were hints.

"S-so, uh. I guess we have crushes on each other, then? Kinda makes this whole thing seem silly…" Akko scratched her head.

"I feel like a fool." Diana growled to herself. "All this time I spent concerned over soulmate magic, and it was all for nothing."

She once again looked up to see Akko gaping at her, and after a moment, her brain caught up and realized that, for the third time today, she had managed to say yet another piece of information that really shouldn't be spoken aloud. "S-soulmate magic?!" Akko squeaked, her face beet-red.

"What now?" O'Neill sat up. A part of Diana registered that she should probably be embarrassed again, but frankly with so much emotional whiplash today, she simply lacked the energy to do more than have the blood rush back to their now familiar place in her cheeks.

"…I'm not sure what's wrong with me today." Diana said simply. "I'm usually able to avoid speaking my intrusive thoughts. It's become something of an epidemic with me as of late."

"Soulmate?! What?" Akko blanched. "What? Soulmates?!"

"Holy-!" O'Neill tried to speak through giggles. "Heheh, T-this just keeps getting more intense with you two!"

Diana took a moment to think before she spoke, cataloging anything she could say right now that might make the situation worse. Fortunately, the list had grown very short recently, and it currently began with her credit card number and ended with several curse words. With that enlightening thought in mind, Diana supposed she might as well explain what she was talking about.

"I-it…sup _posed_ ly! Being able to perform the Shiny Volley together signified our hearts are…ah, connected, and such magic only works i-if your hearts are on the same level. I…haven't heard of anything like that except, uh, soulmate magic. Supposedly." O'Neill seemed to find her description amusing, because of course she did, but Akko seemed to mull the idea over in her mind before she responded, looking very bashful about it too. It was sort of nice not being the only shy one in the conversation.

"I mean, um, _wow._ Y-you said you had a crush, but… _soulmates_?" Akko fidgeted, still clearly embarrassed by the prospect. "T-that's uh…wow." She repeated.

"I-it…!" Diana felt the sudden need to defend herself. "I-it wasn't my idea!" Neither Akko nor O'Neill seemed to be actually paying attention to what she was saying right now, which she really could've used the past four and half hours. "I mean, technically, the theory wasn't mentioned until I…er, no! I…uh…"

Akko just ignored her rambling and instead walked up to her, as in _close_ to _her,_ the hints of a smile forming on her face. "W-well, I'm sorta amazed you'd choose _me_ as your soulmate." Diana felt her heart leap up to her throat. That was much too intimate a sentence for Diana to respond to properly, so instead she voiced yet another intrusive thought.

"…You don't choose soulmates."

"Well if you did, um, I think I'd like to choose you too."

"You wou-T-that isn't how it works."

"I'm saying if it _was_ though, I'd pick you."

"It isn't. It doesn't…that's not how it works."

"…Whoa." O'Neill piped up again. "You guys go _hard_ , don't you? Like you just said you had a thing and now you're destined?"

Akko reached out and gently took Diana's hands in hers, and Diana felt as though her chest might burst open from how fast her heart was hammering against it. "Look, let's just say it _is_ how it works. I don't really care what the rules say."

"B-but…it's n-not." Diana's voice sounded very small.

"Since we're…um, _that_ , we should go out and do something fun!"

Diana made a vaguely affirmative noise. It was really the best anyone could hope for in such a situation. Words were beyond her capabilities right now. She couldn't take her eyes from Akko's face, but she could feel her thumbs softy brushing against her knuckles. It felt better than it had any right to. Could this be what it meant to have their hearts connected? This indescribable feeling drawing her towards Akko? This sudden desire to have her close? It was unlike anything Diana had eve-

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

This time it was Akko that turned red and whipped around. "AMANDA _SHUT UP_! DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME!"

"Wh-I'm trying to get that for you!"

"SHUT UP! LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT!"

O'Neill, for once, raised her hands in surrender and backed down. Diana was quite impressed. There was certainly no way she could've verbally defeated the witch after she said something like _that_. Akko had turned back to her, looking at their joined hands. Diana noted the slight tinge of pink still remaining on her cheeks, the almost inaudible little huff she blew through her lips, and was overcome with gratefulness at how things had turned out. Trying to move past this crush would've been much too difficult.

"I'm…I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings Akko."

"Hee hee! That doesn't matter anymore, Diana!" Her light giggle did something fierce to her, and for a brief, wonderful moment, there was nothing in the world but Diana and Akko, their hands entwined and the sweet sound still echoing in the air. Diana no longer registered O'Neill watching their exchange, no longer registered her earlier shame that had enveloped her, no longer registered anything in her mind but the beautiful girl in front of her and the shining look in her eyes.

Given all that had happened today, Diana really should've paid better attention to the conversation she was still having.

"We'll just forget the whole thing, deal?" Akko said with a smile.

"No deal. I've decided erasing your memories is not a choice I'm willing to make."

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

* * *

In terms of her mood, things had managed to return to some relative level of normalcy over the following days. Her head felt clearer and she could speak without stammering or blushing or saying something inane. She returned to her student life with the confidence and poise that once defined her.

Relative if only because Akko would occasionally hold her hand in public now, where other people could _see_ them, and would _think_ things, and there was no proper decorum for such situations, but aside from that annoying but not entirely unwelcome feeling, Diana finally felt like herself again. Case in point, she was helping to monitor detentions for Headmistress Holbrooke. It was not only a duty she'd graciously accept in order to support Luna Nova in any way she could, but she saw it as a pleasure to perform such tasks. Especially when one considered whose detention was in need of monitoring.

"This sucks!" O'Neill complained yet again. "How'd you even manage to get me in trouble?"

"Me?" Diana asked innocently. "I assure you, I haven't done anything. But it seems that somehow, the professors have managed to learn of several of your misdemeanors that had previously been overlooked. I haven't a clue how they might've come across such information."

"Tch, so now what? You're here to gloat?"

"Of course not. Just to make sure all this cleaning is finished." As punishment for the several infractions that the professors had just _happened_ to come across, from an anonymous source mind you, Amanda had been tasked with scrubbing the kitchen's dirty dishes. With quite a number of students currently enrolled at the prestigious witch academy, grime was sure to build up on the many, many, many, _many_ plates, bowls and cups that now surrounded O'Neill.

It likely wouldn't even be _that_ arduous of a task on a normal day, but the information just so happened to reach Holbrooke's ears when the cooks had prepared stew, and the consistency of it made it exceptionally difficult to remove, especially now that it's had time to dry on the dishes. It was a crying shame such an awful task had befallen a girl of O'Neill's caliber.

"Just pretend I'm not here. You do you." Diana said, making no effort to hide the vindication in her voice. O'Neill just grumbled, taking the rough end of a sponge to a crusted food stain on a plate. There were certainly other detentions to monitor, with a school of this size there were plenty of girls who had forgotten homework or ditched class, and eventually Diana would see to them as her duty entailed, but for now she felt a connection to O'Neill's plight. The stain wasn't coming off easily. Such a shame.

"Hey. Diana. About yesterday." Diana looked up at the sound of being addressed. O'Neill's voice hadn't sounded as angry and accusatory as one might've expected. She had stopped scrubbing, and turned to face Diana.

"I know how hard that was for you, talking to Akko like that…" Diana did a double take. Was Amanda actually going to apologize for her boorish behavior? She looked and sounded sincere, as she nervously scratched her arm. She had assumed that Amanda lacked a single tactful bone in her body, but if she actually felt sorry for her actions…Perhaps Diana had misjudged her character after all. Perhaps someday, she and Amanda might move past this pointless bickering and become friends. It was a pleasant prospect, and it would make Akko happy as well. Maybe Diana could find it in her heart to let bygones be bygones.

"…So if you ever need a wingman to get you past first base, I'm always here!"

What happened before Diana had fled from the room had certainly hurt, but despite the pain in her forehead, Amanda couldn't help but laugh anyway. She said it to get a reaction, but she hadn't expected one quite like _that_. It was so hilariously unlike her that Amanda doubted anyone would even believe her.

How many people could say they got Diana Cavendish to actually chuck a frying pan at them?

* * *

"It doesn't count, Chariot."

"Of course it counts, Croix. They got together. That was the _only_ thing that counted."

"Only because you fed her that crap about their 'hearts being on the same level' or whatever."

"Oh, you are such a sore loser. You never set _any_ ground rules!"

"Well making up stuff about special heart magic is definitely against the rules. You straight up lied to a teenager!"

"Oh, this is wrong now? Need I remind you of the Wagandea Tree?"

"…You can turn this around on me all you want, Chariot. I'm still not paying you a single cent."

* * *

 **(So this was originally the ending, and all of Amanda's comments were just jokes. Given how in the canon of this fic Diana reacted to talking to her crush, could you imagine what she'd do if she had to have her first kiss? But then I thought about that sentence a bit more and I was like, "Wait…" For a couple reasons, mainly because it'd be longer and not really connected to the description anymore, I think I'll end up making that into another short fic. Also, I sort of wanna wash my hands of this. Despite doing it twice, I really don't like doing these big "the truth comes out" scenes**

 **So if you liked Diana falling apart, look out for that sequel called...oh, we'll call it "Calamitous"**

 **I think teachers placing bets on their students getting together is probably not okay, but for sure Croix was the one who brought it up and you _know_ Chariot wasn't going to let her win that argument so she goes "hey diana what if you and akko were soulmates wouldnt that be weird lmao anyway bye")**


End file.
